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Sara Went to a Nail Salon, What She Did Next Shocked Everyone

Sara Went to a Nail Salon, What She Did Next Shocked Everyone

So, I went to a nail salon in LA. Upon my arrival, the good lady at the hosting counter said with a signature lousy attitude, “We don’t know if the technician will still take you because your appointment was at 3:30 and it is 3:36. Our appointments are very hard to get.” She squinted, and paused. I thought oh okay, all valid thoughts, but what’s with the hubris, lady? (Btw, that’s a good word, feel free to use it more often, you’d be shocked at how well it will come in handy. Hubris: “excessive pride and self-confidence.”) So, yeah, lady, what’s with the hubris? Why are you talking to me like I just threw out your Kylie Jenner Lip Kit that you have been waitlisted for since the war in Syria started? Why are you snubbing me like I just told you that Harry from One Direction was gay and won’t ever marry you?

She squinted again. She let anxiety pervade my soul. Then, she said, again, with the same lousy attitude, “It is at the discretion of the nail technician to decide whether she can slash will take you or not.”

“Discretion!
Can (!) SLASH (!) will take me!
First of all, I’m super excited for the nail technician, because that’s an awesome title to have, plus, she has discretion; she’s the 1%. Second of all, a special person must have served as a behavioral role model to you, and you thought it was a sublime idea to emulate the way they speak to people, but just because you have a piece of shit boss who talks to you the way you just talked to me, and who can’t make it safe for you in the work place because he/she is a shitty person, you do not need to communicate any of your stress with any hubris, at any time. It is out of place, pissy missy. Your hubris will always be out of place, no matter what you do.

Am I missing something? Are you engaging in nation-building in here and I missed the memo? Did I just lose the only copy of your years of Panglossian Paradigm research on the Appalachian trail? Are you curing Multiple Sclerosis in this nail salon, and you are super stressed that the FDA won’t approve it because it isn’t financially profitable for the pharmaceutical interest group? Or is it that you are toiling to try and help the Palestinians get better livelihood in Gaza, but your project just got shut down by Israel because they consider your humanitarian help to Palestine to be anti-Semitic? Do you know that in the past week three Palestinians in Gaza have literally set themselves on fire on three distinctive days to protest their dismal living conditions, and no one, NO ONE, reported any of it? There are communities in Africa who consider their lives better today because the women and children, who have to walk 4 miles a day to draw water from a shitty lake to maintain livelihood for their families, now instead have rolling water tanks. So, today, they don’t have to carry that heavy shit on their heads but now, they roll it. That is luxury for them. Did you know that? Or is it all about your yoga practice that you go to wearing spandex pants made by third-world child laborers, slaves, but you don’t care cuz it says “Namaste” on your butt and it makes it look good, and that’s what’s important for your Instagram yoga shots?

I am not saying you deserve anything less than any privilege you have, or that you should feel guilt for the way most human beings live in this world, I am not even suggesting that you should do more with your life, but considering how much pain there is in this world, what I am suggesting is that you reassess your attitude because it is small, and a small attitude leads to a small life. And small lives do nothing but contribute pain to this world. Do you want a small life? No? If not, then be less selfish with your kindness. You have no idea how good you have it that what you consider acute stress in your day is that some customer was 6 minutes late for a nail polish change, which YOU are not even going to do, the powerful nail technician will have to do it, and on top of that, she will have to deal with me. That’s a lot for her. You deserve a better life than the smallness in which you have chosen to communicate with me, which ultimately only showcases the inner workings of your personality, and that is a burden only you will have to bear, no one else. That goes for you and for everyone in this damn world who believes they are too important to partake of kindness in their everyday life. *smile* Anyway. I love you.”

So she called the police.

I’m kiddin. She took me in.

All this to say, this was another amazing day for humanity.

You’re welcome.

Written by Sara El-Yafi

59 Comments

  1. Tristan Hudson · May 24, 2016

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Amazing, amazing!!! *bow*

  2. Tanya Kassem · May 24, 2016

    There are so many levels of genius in this post. This text should be studied.

  3. Nicholas Haddad · May 24, 2016

    Hahahahahaaaaaa!!! You’re sooo hilarious! And Deep! How does that even work?

  4. Amer El Rassas · May 24, 2016

    hahaha anyway nails looks fantastic!

  5. Elo Koko · May 24, 2016

    Love it! Hubris, the new favorite work 😀

  6. Lon Fiala · May 24, 2016

    I love you. Your nails look great…

  7. Hanadi A. Zeidan · May 24, 2016

    Hahaahahha u r too cute

  8. Leon Patchett · May 24, 2016

    So it was worth it?

  9. Hollie Ghandour · May 24, 2016

    Hahha, excellent 🙂

  10. Wassef Ezzedine · May 24, 2016

    You’re an easy writer… ‘d love to write like you !

  11. Anthony Elghossain · May 24, 2016

    You’re angry ‘slash’ inspired. Why don’t you just take five, mmkay? 🙂

  12. Fida Krayem · May 24, 2016

    Hahahahaaaa!!! You make me laugh out loud, but also make me think so profoundly!

  13. Liliane N. Assaf · May 24, 2016

    Please tell me you really told her all that!

  14. Nadim Haddad · May 24, 2016

    That dialogue went on in your head or did you actually deliver it to her???

  15. Jy Jreissati · May 24, 2016

    Another great piece 🙂

  16. Nicholas Marquez-Grant · May 24, 2016

    hahahaha, you are so funny!

  17. Karam Toubba · May 24, 2016

    MY HERO <3

  18. Patty Karam · May 24, 2016

    Hahahahahaha genial !! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  19. Rani Kayrouz · May 24, 2016

    Sorry didn’t read.. but when did u turn that pretty?

  20. Sobhi Itani · May 24, 2016

    WOW! The more I read your writings, the more I think that I would be super comfortable if you led our country. I am sure you would do a good job to defend us, and stand up for our higher values. (Plus, you are hilarious). #saraforprimeminister

  21. Jamal Tayara-Baroudy · May 24, 2016

    “…but you don’t care cuz it says “Namaste” on your butt and it makes it look good, and that’s what’s important for your Instagram yoga shots?” i cracked up :DDDDD I am sharing lol! She deserved it .. if she understood anything you said! s:)

  22. Diala Kassem · May 24, 2016

    <3 <3

  23. Sarah Beaini Rafeh · May 24, 2016

    😂😂😂 you. Are.hilarious.

  24. Gregory Gatserelia · May 24, 2016

    I’m clearly impressed, it’s so funny, was reading it during a boring meeting, had to leave the room!!! Couldn’t restain laughing!!! T’adore ❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

  25. Neo Ajaka · May 24, 2016

    I’m so not doing my nails over there 😂😂😂😂😏😛

  26. Nour Taher · May 24, 2016

    Maria, am sure u will like this 🙂

  27. Maya Hodroj · May 24, 2016

    There are different levels of geniuses – this woman definitely masters a good number of them!
    Ever since the Harvard Israeli food station post, I have been a fan.

  28. Ali Halawi · May 24, 2016

    Simply hilarious!

  29. Jihad Krayem · May 24, 2016

    No one is as witty and clever as you are. And I read lots and lots of stuff. You’re by far one of the better writers out there, if not the best.

  30. Ahmad Mohtadi · May 25, 2016

    Hubris! Love it and using it now, tell Tarek it’s the new ‘ comin’ in Hot ‘ hell explain 😉

  31. Chris Taylor · May 25, 2016

    Stunning. 🙂

  32. Ani Baboyan · May 25, 2016

    Nail technicians appointment should always be respected. They are powerful and free you can not argue with them and whatever happens they are in there total rights. So please next time you should arrive just on time. And don’t try to arrive earlier as you will have triggered another conflict

  33. Bilal Khodari · May 25, 2016

    What’s with the hubris @ ur gif 😜

  34. Ahmad Mohtadi · May 25, 2016

    https://youtu.be/92fD8Cy2zL0

    Is this the place you go to Sara ?

  35. Hana Samouri · May 25, 2016

    PEACE..lol <3

  36. Lara Haddad · May 25, 2016

    Well… Alas your nails look amazing! Namaste my gorgeous friend! Missing you dearly! ❤️

  37. Julian Leuthold · May 25, 2016

    Good to have you back in LA. Sounds like you’ve been doing well since our meet-up in Davos.

  38. Hussein Itany · May 25, 2016

    Okkkkkk Hahahaha

  39. Rosanna Tedeschi · May 25, 2016

    Bam!!!!

  40. Lynn Ammar · May 25, 2016

    Haha… Sara you should tag her.. or the nail technician.. or the Salon.. 🙂

  41. Amany Saghir · May 25, 2016

    Hahahahahahahaha
    BRILLIANT!!!

  42. Faris Smadi · May 25, 2016

    Nice nails though after all 😜

  43. Adib Farha · May 25, 2016

    Tell us how you really feel! 😀

  44. Thomas Park · May 25, 2016

    Are you sure you came only 6 minutes late? Are you sure about that?

  45. Sabrina Rogers-Anderson · May 25, 2016

    LOVE THISSS

  46. Boubacar Thiam · May 25, 2016

    Jolie…

  47. Raef Kobeissi · May 25, 2016

    Loooool that was a hell of a speech

  48. Alissar Caracalla · May 25, 2016

    You are a piece of art ! Love this

  49. Rima El Yafi · May 25, 2016

    Sarah ! Tu es unique!

  50. Sarsoura Kaddoura · May 25, 2016

    Nicely said and written 👍😊😊

  51. Tarek Abed · May 25, 2016

    Yo cuz how long are you in LA for I need some Yafi Time!!

  52. Hussein Itany · May 25, 2016

    I just want to read this over and over again.
    Lovely! Hahahaha
    Much love Sara all the way from the smallness of Beirut idiocies.

  53. Sara El-Yafi · May 25, 2016

    I love you all. Your words make me laugh, and warm my heart. Couldn’t ask for a response that would make my heart fuller. Thanks for taking the time to read, and like, share, and especially comment. Friends like you make it worth it to get into emotional conversations with nail salon representatives. Remember always #saynotohubris

    Tristan, Tanya, Nicholas, Amer, Elo, Lon, Hanadi, Leon, Hollie, Wassef, Anthony, Fida, Liliane, Nadim, Jy, Nicholas, Karam, Patty, Rani, Sobhi, Jamal, Diala, Sarah, Gregory, Neo, Nour, Ali, Jihad, Ahmad, Chris, Ani, Bilal, Hana, Lara, Julian, Hussein, Rosanna, Lynn, Amany, Faris, Adib, Thomas, Sabrina, Boubacar, Raef, Alissar, Rima, Sarsoura, Tarek.

  54. Make Way · May 25, 2016

    You are not more important than the nail technician, nor is your time more valuable.

    • Malek Fares · May 28, 2016

      Wooopphaaa, “make way” for the only idiot here. Your negativity and your sinister livelihood have no place here on the mighty Sara El-Yafi’s website. You are clearly not smart enough to deserve to read her words. Your inferiority complex should drive you to speak in a psychologist’s office, not on a respectable online platform, and certainly not on this gracious person’s page. (You’re not even brave enough to show your name.)

  55. Mehdi · June 28, 2016

    I know your analysis of the situation is just an enlightening theoretical situation .
    But this situation has some inherent narratorial discrepancies.
    The most important of which is , what in the world’s name were you doing in a nail parlor in the first place?!
    With that kind of deep thoughts you should do your own nails or clip’em !
    You placed yourself in a theoretical ironic situation which makes your concerns less credible.
    Cheers!

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