*Find my original Facebook post here.
** Illustration by Sara El-Yafi 

I really believe there will come a point in time where the designation B.C (Before Christ) will be replaced by B.G. (Before Google). 1996 will become year zero, putting us today at the mark of 17 A.G. (Anno Google).

Even if you have an unwavering belief in God, I know you know that Google is a more practical source for you to go to when you need help. Let’s face it, “God, please cure me of this cough” will not do you as much good as “Google cure me of this cough” (don’t even say please. Politeness confuses it). Google knows everything from where you sleep and what you eat, to what you think and even what you mean. It knows the past, present and future, Kim Kardashian’s weight and what third world country the pope is burning condoms in. Google is so powerful that even if you know that the address iswww.cnn.com, it will make you GOOGLE “cnn” and then make you click on cnn link. That’s how powerful they are. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. I won’t upset anyone and say Google is God. But I will say this: God on earth IS Google, and today God had something delicate to say: it just recognized Palestine.

If you go to www.google.ps, you will see that the location name was changed from “Palestinian Territories” to “Palestine.” And when Google recognizes anything, it means showtime.

Do you hear the people sing? ok maybe not.

40 Comments

  • Karim T. Balhawan says:

    It’s a two ways sword. Google makes everything easy to everyone, for your friends and your foes (in terms of doing business) I miss those days when you had to fight to get some information, but now it’s easy for anyone to do so. We had work hard to prepare a project, months and months of hard work, now it takes seconds. I don’t like that, no wonder why is a world wide economic crisis because it’s easy to imitate, no thanks to “technology”.

  • Hasan Salame says:

    The first thing you get on the sidebar when you google “Palestine” is the following: “Palestine is a conventional name, among others, for the geographic region in Western Asia between the Mediterranean Sea and the Jordan River, and various adjoining lands”
    what the hell does CONVENTIONAL mean?

  • Samar Youssef Eid says:

    And You a Goddess 🙂

  • Ala' Mansour says:

    Digital space doesnt compensate for occuping real space. This just gives people a false sense of achievement to ease down the claims on whats really important. Same as a friggin “chair’ in thr UN

    • Sara El-Yafi says:

      I see you and respect your opinion. You make a very valid point but we must bear in mind that رحلة الالف ميل تبدأ بخطوة. At the level where we all are today in the Middle East, small victories are the only ones that are possible today. The problem with the Arab leadership and peoples in general is that as time went by, their demands and expectations never adapted to the speed of life, they stagnated. We cannot ask for a tower if we don’t have steel to begin with. We are complaining that we don’t have towers, we should be wondering why we don’t have steel. So let’s work on getting the steel first. This Google move is one example of getting steel. It is recognition and dignity being handed to a people whose dignity had been deemed even illegal by the world and their integrity deemed worthless at the hands of time. As heartbreaking as it is, there is a specific status quo that requires them to rebuild their dignity in the eyes of the world before they can be taken seriously at the negotiating table. Their recognition at the UN and Google is one huge step in the right direction. You see, I believe that the most important step in growth and development for anyone is coming to terms with reality and recognizing our own shortcomings and our responsibilities and subsequently adapting our demands to our real needs. That is true for individuals as it is true for nations. So, once we’ve lined up all the tools needed, we can start engineering the tower. We can only step into the light with the right mindset, then the world can be ours if we wish.

  • Melanie Hollands says:

    Perhaps even 10 A. F. (Anno Facebook)?

  • Sara El-Yafi says:

    -Randa: thank you so much. I always appreciate your comments.
    -Rouba: thank you habibi 🙂
    -Sabrina: Coming from a great fellow writer! Thank you! xo
    -Ibrahim,: thank you Larry and Sergey send on their regards and would like to discuss a “Google Ibrahim AlHusseini” page with you.
    -Ghias: lol. These are very wise questions that you pose at critical times. There is also the question of marriage. Should Googlians travel to Cyprus to marry non-Googlians Or are they yet another branch of Shiism as well? Tough questions.
    -Joumana: I love you! And I thank you for giving me you. xoxo
    -Sa’ed: Love you too 🙂

  • Joumana El-Yafi says:

    Me too Sara El-Yafi!!

  • Sa'ed Adel Atshan says:

    I love you Sara El-Yafi! 🙂

  • Joumana El-Yafi says:

    Brilliant human being that you are my lovely,let alone so witty and so so mahdoumeh,ya albi inti.I thank Google for Palestine,its maps and never ending knowledge,but I thank God for you my darling,and yes there is singing!it is my heart singing because I have you as my amazing daughter!

  • Ghias El Yafi says:

    Ok. Will we Lebanese then add one more confession to our 18 others and will we give Googlians a day off when Google came into being? How manyo MP’s will we allot them? which positions in the administration will be allocated to them?

  • Ibrahim AlHusseini says:

    An ideas who’s time has FINALLY come. Grateful to Larry and Sergie for continuing to “not be evil” and to Sara for pushing this milestone into the public consciousness rapidly and with her usual clever wit.

  • Sabrina Rogers-Anderson says:

    Brilliant!

  • Ghassan Chahine says:

    Very well said, however I would replace the word Google by Bing & the letter G by a B

  • Rouba Murtada says:

    brilliantly written!

  • Ghazi Abu-Salem says:

    Is this true? I am elated as I am sure countless many that have worked very hard to bring this about. As for Google, I agree with you wholeheartedly. technology and its thousands of apps is ubiquitous, and for the younger generations that only know the world with iphones and ipads, ibooks, and games like Halo and Call of Duty. That is their reality, their world begins with this. They can’t relate to the past, and as you said, with Google, you give commands and you don’t have to say please and thank you, it confuses it. Social skills, social graces have less and less importance in society, but more importantly, it their world and the reality that they exist in, it is about logic and facts, about immediate access, religion will have less and less influence over their physiological make up, morality as we know it will be different in their world, societal rituals will disappear or new rituals will develop that can’t yet predict or fathom. Social interactions have already been severely altered that the taboos and morays of yesterday have disappeared. And perhaps the place that Google has taken in the lives of the thirty-somethings and older has been dramatic, but not in the same profound way that the younger generations have been influenced by it along with all the technology that facilitates it. so in summation, I do agree with your wisdom and sage visions of a future where people would look back at 1996 as the start of a new religion, digital and linear, pragmatic and functional without all superstitions, social or moral limitations. it sounds interesting, but I tell you the truth, it scares the crap out me that I would not want bring kids into this world. But then again, what the hell do it know, I am part of the outdated civilization 🙂

    • Sara El-Yafi says:

      I see what you mean, and I understand your concerns completely. There is a generation called the digital generation, namely those born after 1980, that never had to transfer from analog to digital. They have not known life without a strong web presence. Even their concept of “privacy” is different. They will give away their information on the Internet a lot more easily than the older generations, and every day they cede more and more information on websites. Even knowledge looks different to them, it will never be a text book again. Now, whether all this does presents a certain danger or not is unknown like, what happens to personal information over time? The security of information is a mounting concern that cannot be answered yet. What happens to the brain? Might it be lazier or stronger? What about all this exposure to those waves? Again, we don’t really know. But what we do know is that there is nothing more important and more liberating than the education, creativity and innovation that is available to this digital generation… It is the generation of freedom, if they know how to use that freedom. And we are still at the beginning. So personally, I am not afraid at all, I am excited for the future generations as long as they don’t forget what a park looks like, or what a tree feels like. And things can always be moderated and harnessed with suitably crafted policies, and incentives, focused on the issues surrounding their use of digital media and other digital technologies, whether it is through parents, teachers, governances, companies etc. But in general, this is a generation that has so much wealth at its hands, it just needs to keep the wisdom for them not to take it for granted. As for your personal fear about not wanting to bring your kids into that world, I believe they are better off there than in the world our parents were brought up in, a world of complexes and insecurities imbued with the fallacy of religion and fear, where everything was forbidden and there was a Satanic presence in everything pleasurable. That is the world I am personally scared of. 🙂 At the end of the day, we’re all humans. And there’s only so much that a human being can be other than a human being. That’s my wisdom for today. hehe.

  • Nadim Haddad says:

    so can we start saying “Google Christ!!!!!” when we’re fed up with something?

    • Sara El-Yafi says:

      No just use ‘Google’. like: Ah Google I’m gonna be late. Oh Google look at this traffic. Oh. My. Google. Am I really this good looking?

  • Zk Randa says:

    Sara , you are funny and brilliant !

  • Youmna Naufal says:

    The pope burns condoms?!? 🙂

    • Sara El-Yafi says:

      Youmna: All the pope ever does is go to places where people make 7 cents a month, shun condoms and tell them to have more children.

  • Sara El-Yafi says:

    Ali: Thank you so much. Am glad you think so and glad you agree 🙂
    Shamir: Good point, maybe that’s the next mission. You know Google is a busy man and works in mysterious ways.
    Fouad: Indeed 🙂 and thank you! x

  • Fouad Dajani says:

    Next stop Google Maps 🙂 great post as always Sara

  • Shamir Allibhai says:

    What about on Google Maps?! That’s where it really counts.

  • Ali Ansar says:

    Sarah your posts have and am sure will always be a delight to read… Loved this one !!! And yes totally agreed.!

  • Issam Yafi says:

    Good thinking keep on bravo

  • Abul-Hasanat Siddique says:

    Just read this via your mailing list. Brilliant! Loved it!

  • Jordan Stone says:

    So if Google is God, is Facebook Moses?

    • Sara El-Yafi says:

      No. Facebook is L. Ron Hubbard. He’s that good.

      • Jordan Stone says:

        Haha, okay, so I guess my personal relationship with Google is through Gmail. And basing my logic on what you have said, that makes Gmail the Messiah of our generation.

  • Vinay Rai says:

    So very true and practical way forward:-) )

  • Yousef Nazzal says:

    Lol what a way to put it!

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